i have yet to write anything about us.

for the longest time..

They all go back where they came from.

 lost it all in an attempt to win more.

and they say that's poker. i say it's sometimes the luck that comes and go.
Bangkok waves hello in a couple of weeks or so

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half-light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Yeats.

''It seems a bit cantankerous of me to hate an innocent letter like Y, doesn't it? I don't hate it everywhere. I like it in the sky or or in the city, but when that pernicious little letter sneaks into a name where it shouldn't be, I find myself doubting the writer's literacy. ''

To the best i've ever had and will have,
happy birthday.

Sometimes friends can make you feel like they are worth time and effort.
Sometimes they just make you feel like they never existed.
Right now, i just wish one of them never did.

Coffee works for me . Every single day , best yet, twice a day but you see it stains your teeth and it does not help that i am already a smoker with braces. A smoker with braces. So uncool.

The last day of the weekend and you thought you were still embracing friday. Wake the fuck up . People like us , People like you and i . Yes you .People who idle and bum around thinking life is the best you can ever have ? We never manage our time. Time IS our manager. We have no sense of urgency , no particular kind of aim and it's as easy as flipping your palm over knowing that 24 hours is up and you didn't even care. On the contrary, Life should have been like that. No work. No need to sweat . NO NEED TO JUDGE.

People judge and that is what that is so agitating but the unfortunate fact is, we all do. Those who think otherwise? Sober up. Those who don't say or think it out loud about what other people are wearing when you're going up the Heeren escalator or talk about someone's parents whom you barely know? Well you're it. You're the worst kind. The kind that play the roles of angels are the ones i deem : The Silent dogs.
You don't say. But you think it. It's worse when you don't share with the world those evil thoughts and 10 other people are dying to be your friend . Hypocrites.

I dare say i judge , i dare say i lay my hate and anger out openly. And i dare say it in your face what you see is what you get from me. I am open to opinions although honestly, half the time i don't give a shit about them. But I love who i love and i may not be the most dainty girl on this planet but i have the gathered courage to face my demons head on. I don't see a problem on why girls should be the weaker link or the one that sheds more tears than men.

And let's face it, this recent trend or whatnot you have with sexual ambiguity? You hardly can tell a girl from a guy anymore or a real guy from a real gay or whatever they call themselves. Also, isn't it a crime under the laws of certain religions to be going against your own vagina or your own penis? Look at the girls from S factor or the Greed girls. Greed for putting up their bodies and self worth for auction. S for sleaze as taken from the straits times. I mean yeah, not exactly the best example but i promise it to be effective. You see, they are the ones that are proud to be women. Those that are aware they want to sleep with as many men as possible and not with their fellow contestants. Let me offer you a quasi contract of fair exchange. The quid pro quo. Mingle around and balance out the hunger for sex and the sexual ambiguity and you will be just fine .

I guess what i am trying to say is;not every kind of evolution is for the good of mankind. Although i have faith that we all will soon come to a smart enough compromise that what we all need more discipline, more respect for each other and more respect for ourselves. And THAT my friend, is evolution at its best.

Shake it?
Well..
Maybe not.

 

Road traffic that has zero control, delicious food stops; arguably the best and cheapest sea food in Asia and thank god for the friends i have, this trip could probably be one of the best i have ever had.
For the first time i saw KL Zouk. Note : Saw. Not been , not went. But saw. We ended up having the most unworthy jug of drinks that was all ice and juice but minimal or no alcohol. Now do the math, 3 jugs. 250 RM or so. It isn't any cheaper and it doesn't taste any better than your good'ol Singapore.
3 days in a foreign land sure made me miss the food and comfort here . 3days. One thing why moving to another country will never ever cross my mind.

If i could be someone else other than me i'd be Charise Pempengo.
I'd be nothing for i'll be 15.
But i'd have nothing for a voice as good molten gold on the palm of my hands.

The thought of penning down the most perfect eulogy for someone just made me thought about the most absurd of things.
What would the people in my world think when i have left the blue and green of this earth.
You see, life is a funny thing. Well.. maybe not hilarious enough for laughter but certain moments in life made by oneself just makes you think back and wonder if all that was done is necessary. Some may be mortified, some glad, some feel a pang of remorse. An assortment of other relevant emotions to any other corresponding situations? Feel free to insert them into your little book of life. I would call mine.. ' life, or something like that' .
I recalled asking this to a few and that if they could choose, would it be ' life and the next best thing' or ' life, or something like that' . Many chose the former. I then did a little statistical advancement within that small department in my brain solely for calculations and decided without much effort that i clearly  belong to the more emotional and pessimistic of the lot. It isn't such a surprise is it? Considering the fact that at age 20, i'm still pretty much an underachiever striving for success while undergoing a financial decadent ( which explains the vacation job) . Not to mention the immense pressure of being expected to do well in time to come despite the lack of proper social ammunition and a magical box of intellectual apparatus that could help me out.
Whew.. That would have taken a minute of my breath if words were spoken. So anyway, since all that has been mentioned were just rants from a more logical point of view (In my stance at least) , i conclude all of these can't be of much help to the many things i would like to achieve before i leave this world as how i have came into it.
Till then, life to me would be like a tea bag, the more you soak it in, the more bitter it is. It's no wonder coffee is a better companion.

Hello.
I don't quite know what to say about the people in my life. Maybe i do not have enough time for both the people and my life. Maybe i have not tried hard enough to manage my time. Or maybe i have a hard time balancing. Then again, perhaps some people need to understand me more if friends really was all that is worth. 
I have to finish what i started and i started 3 years of dreading to go to school and work i hate to do. But i guess i made it and i am done. ALMOST. 20th of Feb marks the first and my last examination of what Singapore's ministers would term it as ' tertiary education' . The degree comes next and it is no longer a novelty kind of thing neither is it a qualification that is going to impress future bosses. It is now a fundamental. A basic need to a reasonable paying structure. This place has no room to pursue passion extensively no more.

i'm a drug
you don't wanna give up
smoke your cigarettes
make your love

it's not about geography, or happenstance
you need to fly, and take a chance
you don't need to soar to emptiness
float on high and forever dance alone

Remember those walls i built? The mental walls .I thought i was confined within the four and would never find the courage to break it down. But perhaps it was all just the state of mind. You made me see the bigger picture and showed me how perfect it could be. How perfect it should be. And how perfect it will be. 
Real love that i don't know about?
Well.. maybe.

JUST BECAUSE THIS GIVES YOU EVERY REASON TO LAUGH